I’ve been lied to and I’ve been told un-truth. I’ve been hurt and put down. I’ve headed in the wrong direction instead of heading for the great future in store for me. I’ve been misdirected and I’ve given up. I’ve been stagnant and just going through the motions of life. Worse than all of that, is the source. The source was the only human being I completely trust and believe, I spend the most time with, I talk to daily, I eat with, sleep with, and think with. My most trusted confidant. . .
Who? Me! I’m the one that tells myself lies. I explain how the cup is half-empty. I tell myself I can’t do it.
Why? Because I don’t feel successful. I don’t feel like I can get it done. I teeter-totter between doing and not doing, driving and wallowing in misery. I am so short sighted. I suffer from the human ailment of immediate gratification (See post: Immediate vs. Delayed Gratification). Here’s a quote that I heard this week that brings me hope.
“Everyone overestimates what they can do in a year and underestimates what they can do in a decade.”
I’ve been doing this blog for four and a half months. Every week except one and guess what? I haven’t made a million dollars yet. I haven’t made one. In fact, I’ve spent money on the site and the services and more. My human thought is that I have nothing but the kingdom thought is wow, this is really helping people. That is what makes it all worth it. I’m not Dave Ramsey but I can help you get yourself out of debt. I’m not Dan Miller or Chris Locurto but I can help you change your life.
How do I know this?
Because I’ve changed my life.
I spent most of my life doing things on my own, in my own power. Hanging out and following the directions of that liar in the second paragraph. I was a bad man and made bad choices. I had some huge outside influences take me by the shoulders, turn me around and kick me in the butt.
That was just the start of the revelation. I can’t do it on my own. I shouldn’t even try. I was designed to be in community, to be and engage with other people in the world. I was designed with flaws and weaknesses, strengths and passions. There are people out there with the opposite strengths and passions, flaws and weaknesses. It was hard to reach out and ask for help. I tried to connect to people and groups and it wasn’t easy, compound that with the affliction of maleness…we don’t need help. We’re MEN…and it’s nearly impossible. The key word is nearly. Turn that into a possible and make some connections in life and then I started killing the lies and coming to reality.
Six months ago, I started a MasterMind group or a MasterMind Alliance as Napoleon Hill put it:
“A friendly alliance with one or more persons who will encourage one to follow through with both plan and purpose.”
–Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich
The MasterMind meets every week. We discuss our ONE Thing (based on the book The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results full disclosure: affiliate link) that drives us each day to pursue our goals and change our lives. We coach, guide and support each other when we can’t see our ONE Thing or when we take our direction away from the ONE Thing.
When we lie to ourselves we have the accountability of the group to tell us the truth in love. We test drive our ideas and brainstorms on each other and get the feedback of willing and engaged minds. We celebrate everyone’s individual victories as a community accomplishment. We are invested in one another and the success of the group.
Outside of the group, we connect one on one to reflect, share and support. We all have different areas of experience and success and each of us can reach out to the others to glean that value. We are committed to one another’s success. I can go to any member of the group at any time when I need support or feedback.
Beyond the MasterMind, I started connecting with men I admire. Approaching them with humility and learning their stories turns the half-empty to half-full but it doesn’t stop there. It fills it up and overflows it (look at the overflow on the contents of this blog). My conquered lies here were that these “almighty successful men” would not want to have anything to do with me. What a silly lie!
When was the last time someone with less experience with something you’re great at asked you for advice or direction and you told them to go fly a kite? No, for me it was just the opposite. I wanted to reach out to them, engage with them, and give what I could to help them out. That is better than cash any day.
The take away. Don’t believe yourself until you have validated your thoughts with trusted people. If you don’t have any trusted people, go out and get some today. Find a meetup, start a MasterMind, join a club. Whatever you do, don’t take the selfish and prideful stance that stole most of my life and try to do it on your own.
In the comments, tell the readers how and where you connect to your trusted people.