Sitting here because I failed to apply this blog post’s title to my week. I said “yes” to to many things: Facebook, personal financing, child requests. Taking some time out to do something completely different that I enjoy is the one thing I did right this week that was a yes. In fact, writing that sentence, I thought of another thing I needed to do and I almost said yes. Instead, I put it on my task list.
I can say “yes” and “no” at the right times but as much as I try, I have seasons of greater and lesser success.
“For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.”
—Romans 7:19 NASB
They are small things so I am challenged to call them “evil” but maybe that is exactly what needs to happen. The small distractions, tiny detours, menial diversions are easy to say yes to. BUT, they add up. They accumulate and detract from my big “yes”-es (the big things I want to do). Some of these small things warrant my time and many don’t. When I allow myself to spend time on the little ones they can become a major time suck on my life. Time is my most valuable asset. I forget to treat it that way. It deserves as much attention as my money and requires a mindful budget and accounting followed by a review.
My use of “yes” and “no” directly corresponds to and results in two things: my use of time and the quality of my “yes”. Every “yes” takes some of the balance from my Willpower Bank Account. When I allow that to happen my “yes”-es get more and more diluted. When I do my “review” of time, of my use of “yes” and “no” I find my significance, accomplishment, and joy to be smaller and minimized when I don’t use “no” enough and use “yes” too much. My Life Plan shows me my ONE THING, thus provides me a simple process to implement my “no”.
Another area of “yes”-ing results in my fear of not pleasing people. Giving “yes”-es makes me feel good. I love to help people. I like being the “go to” person in the business when no one else can do something or no one knows how to do something. That shot me in the foot in one of my jobs. I, the “yes man”, made people “happy” (were they really happy, I’m not so sure). Then there was a transition at the company from quasi-equality of work to income despite the billing rate of the clients. I found myself serving all the lowest billing rate clients when new leadership came in and destroyed that “quasi-equality”. My “yes man” put me in a hole difficult to remove myself from.
The bottom line, I don’t make people happy by saying “yes”! I make people happy by helping them solve their pains, problems, and difficulties. I excel when I conserve my “yes”-es and they result in “oh my gosh that is amazing! I never expected such a thing!” An abundance of “yes” yields an abundance of mediocrity. That allows your “yes” to look like “whatever” and that is stupid!
“But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil.”
—Matthew 5:37 NASB
Don’t say “YES” again to anyone without counting the cost. You serve everyone in your life better with appropriate “no”-s. They can find another way or a better person to get the “yes” they’re looking for or they might realize on their own it’s not needed or find a better solution all together. If you can’t give a “yes” all it deserves, don’t give it at all!