Top o’ the Mornin’ to Ya!
TLDR: Discover how becoming fully present and giving your complete attention to others transforms relationships. Learn from my personal struggle with distraction and how implementing a simple “new command” technique can help Christian men become better husbands, fathers, and leaders in this challenging attention age.
What?
This morning while walking down the driveway with Liz, I noticed I was only half-present as she talked about school schedules. I caught myself not fully engaged, trying to be a super Kingdom Family Leader and super dad but failing. I remembered what I learned yesterday – stop, change it, make a new command. So that’s exactly what I did. I simply said, “I missed that. Can you say that again?” Then I gave her my full attention.
Similarly, during a coaching call yesterday, I told my client, “I am fully present here with you. I have OneNote open next to the screen with your face on it. If I’m glancing over there, I’m taking notes so I can better serve you. Are you in a place where you can give me your full attention with no distractions?” This really opened up value for him because he has a colleague he can’t get full attention from, and he’s going to try this approach.
Why?
I’m sharing this because we all struggle with staying present. Our minds process thousands of thoughts daily, making it challenging to maintain focus. But in what I’m calling the “attention age,” giving your complete attention to the person you’re with is crucial.
Several high-level people I’ve been coaching with recently have emphasized commanding presence – giving full attention to the person in front of you. One mentioned the Mr. Rogers movie, where Mr. Rogers says, “The most important thing to me right now is you” – focusing entirely on the person he’s with in that moment.
Lesson
It’s much easier to get dopamine hits by giving our attention to phone apps, video games, or Netflix. While giving attention to actual human beings is ultimately more rewarding, it’s harder to initiate. Many of us (especially those with ADHD-like tendencies) have a superpower of hyper-focus – once we’re in something, we’re ALL in. The key is directing that focus toward the people who matter.
When we find ourselves failing at being present, we need to stop, make a new command, make a new decision, recover from the mistake. We’re human. But we can choose to refocus and stay on target with intention.
Apply
Where do you need to pay more attention and give more of your full presence? Write it down. Where can you improve? Where have you noticed you’re not fully present, and where would improving make a significant difference – for your coworker, employee, contractor, wife, son, daughter, brother, or father?
This is the attention age. Where can you give your full attention?
You be blessed.
Giving Full Attention: The Secret to Stronger Relationships in the Attention Age
