Top o’ the Mornin’ to Ya!
TLDR: Discover how to bridge the leadership gap between your professional and personal life. This message explores the challenge of being a leader at work but failing to lead effectively at home, and provides practical insights to help Christian men become consistent, whole-life leaders across all domains.
What?
Just sent Liz off on the bus for her last day before spring break. Part of me feels like I’ve been a horrible leader in my life, and I’m trying to catch up. So much of my existence has been about leading and managing at work – being a workaholic, doing this and that, work, work, work – without finding that whole life balance.
I walk Liz to the bus every day for that opportunity to spend quality time together, to lead her and my family well. When I lead and teach my children, I don’t have to manage them. But I’ve noticed there’s often a disconnect between my internal and external leadership. I was leading in software engineering, as a teacher, as a coach for many years – but I’d come home and not lead.
Why?
This disconnect creates a critical question: Are you a leader or not? Are you leading in your home? Are you leading your family, your kids, your wife? Are you leading at church? Are you leading in the community? Where is that leadership gap? Where are we not our whole self?
If we’re only leading half the time or a quarter of the time, are we really a leader? Are we really wholly a leader? This partial leadership fuels that internal dialogue that says, “You’re not enough, you’re not the leader, you’re not good enough. You’re just pretending you’re a fake.”
Lesson
When we lead in all aspects of life – and part of leading is following well and learning well – we quiet those voices of doubt. For me, the last part of my leadership journey was learning to lead myself. I did things to look okay, to be okay, but it wasn’t complete. There were gaps in my leadership.
As I close these gaps (and they aren’t done – it’s a sanctification process, just like in scripture where we’re getting better every day), I find more wholeness. One of my mantras is “better every day” – what’s the best thing I can do right now?
Apply
If you find yourself with voices in your head saying you’re not a leader, take time to reflect on that. Journal about it. Write down where you’re not leading well, and identify your next step to become a stronger leader in that space.
Be specific about the areas – whether it’s with kids, family, or elsewhere – and work on them systematically. When I was ski coaching, we worked on one thing at a time. What’s the one leadership area that you’re going to work on right now? Throw it down in the comments below.
You be blessed.
Leadership Gaps: Becoming a Whole-Life Leader at Home and Work
