Top o’ the Mornin’ to Ya!
TLDR: Your biggest successes likely happened when you were moving toward something you wanted, not away from something you feared. Understanding the difference between toward and away-from motivation can transform how you approach challenges in business, parenting, and personal growth, leading to sustained excellence instead of temporary relief.
What?
When I was ski coaching, I worked with a top-level athlete named Kevin during our hill runs through the forest trails. We’d run down a few blocks in the woods, cut across a stream, then run up the other side. Kevin was a good head taller than me with long legs, so he’d fly down the hills while I’d often catch him on the uphill portions.
This is where I first discovered the concept of toward versus away-from motivation. When Kevin was ahead of me, I had toward motivation – I was stretching forward, reaching to catch him. But when I passed him, I had to make a crucial choice. I could either maintain toward motivation by focusing on my better time, better fitness, better exertion, and self-improvement, or I could slip into away-from motivation – just trying to stay ahead of him, keep steps in front.
On my good days, I switched to toward motivation even when I was ahead, driving toward excellence rather than just avoiding being caught. That kept me driving forward through the finish line with purpose instead of fear. Just enough is. . . well just enough.
Why?
Most of us don’t realize how much our motivation type affects our results. Think back to your greatest successes – I bet those happened when you were moving toward something inspiring rather than just trying to get away from a problem. Away-from motivation might give you that little bit of relief, but toward motivation creates the big, exciting, inspiring results.
This shows up everywhere in leadership. In parenting, we’re constantly helping kids move from away-from motivation to toward motivation. In coaching, people come with pains, problems, hurts, habits, and hangups. Their first instinct is that the problem is so big they can’t see anything else – they just want to get away from it. But that’s non-directed, defensive, scary, and sometimes dangerous. In business we’re seeking the team building and connection with our team that drives them towards growth for themselves and the company instead of away from work, towards the weekend–not the type of towards we’re looking for here.
Lesson
Away-from motivation is like sitting on rocks in the forest and getting the inspiration to “get away from the rocks.” Which way do you go? Every direction at once. You might get away, but where do you end up? It’s defensive and non-directed. Random.
Toward motivation is like getting inspired to go to the chicken coop from those same rocks. You know exactly where you’re heading, what you’re moving toward. There’s the destination – clear, focused, purposeful.
Sometimes away-from motivation is necessary – bad relationships, abusive situations, toxic workplaces. You need to get away first. But as soon as you’re safe and have your basic needs covered, it’s time to shift to toward motivation.
The key is finding something to aim for, something to live for, something to go for. Paint that picture, visualize it, but make sure it’s attainable and connectable. You can have big visions and goals, but you need steps along the way that keep you connected and make it believable and achievable.
Apply
Write down one area where you’re currently operating from away-from motivation – where you’re trying to avoid something, escape something, or prevent something from happening. This could be in your business, parenting, relationships, or personal growth.
Next to that, write what you actually want to move toward in that same area. Instead of avoiding conflict in your marriage, what kind of connection do you want to build? Instead of trying not to fail in business, what success do you want to create? Instead of preventing your kids from making mistakes, what character qualities do you want to develop in them?
Just being aware that you’re in away-from mode allows you to start reframing into a toward mindset. Get safe, get grounded, meet your base needs with away-from motivation if necessary, then start asking: Where am I heading toward? What is my future? Design my vision!
You be blessed!
From Running Away to Running Toward: The Motivation That Changes Everything
