Top o’ the Mornin’ to Ya!
TLDR: Discover the profound difference between online coaching and having a local accountability partner who has permission to speak truth into your life. Learn from Peter’s conversation with Jesus about love and how God meets us at our level, while understanding why Kingdom leaders need someone with proximity, insight, and permission to point out small deviations before they become big problems.
What?
Just got home from Bible study. It is so good to get together with like-minded men and discuss scripture and Bible verses. We were in John 21 today, looking at the calling out of Peter by Jesus and Jesus meeting them on the shore with fish cooked up on the fire and bread.
We got into that discussion of the different meanings of the words love in scripture – that brotherly love and that agape overwhelming complete love. Jesus was asking Peter if he loved him with that agape overwhelming complete love, and Peter was answering “I love you” with that phileo, that brotherly Philadelphia type of love. Jesus asked again in agape, and Peter replied again in phileo love. Finally the third time, Jesus came to Peter’s level and asked in phileo love, to which Peter replied in phileo love.
So God, Jesus, God in the form of Jesus came down to his level of need, his level of willingness to profess that love. Part of the discussion was about the guilt for the denial that Peter gave the night Jesus was betrayed and crucified, and how Peter was like “I will never deny you, I’ll never not follow you, I will always be your disciple” – yet he denied him three times.
But the thing that resonated with me was our Bible study leader said, “I’ve got a guy in my life that I have invited him to tell me the truth, to tell me when he thinks I’m going the wrong way, to tell me when he thinks I may need to make a change, plus all the other good stuff – to be that friend, to celebrate with, to have the celebrations.”
Why?
This experience revealed something crucial about Kingdom leadership: giving that permission, having that permission for someone to probe into your life is an important part of our journey as Christian men, husbands, fathers, and leaders. Because if we’re leading in the wrong way, if we’re heading in the wrong direction, we need someone who can see it and speak into it.
I think about our online presence as Kingdom Family Leader – we’re primarily an online mastermind group. We get together once or twice a year in person for a retreat to really connect with each other. But it’s that local, being able to see into someone’s life that’s so important.
One of the guys I was coaching yesterday, I’m like, “You’re way over there and I’m way over here. So I don’t have a full view into the challenges you’re facing and what you’re doing day in and day out.” We do our check-ins and coaching calls and there’s value and benefit to that, but there’s something different about proximity.
Lesson
What we need is an accountability partner that has the vision, has the insight, and has the proximity to us and is able to see small challenges, small deviations, small errors as they come up and can point that out when it’s easy to fix, when it’s easy to turn and make a better choice. This is invaluable.
As leaders, we need to have someone who knows us that can speak into our lives and that we will listen to, that we will believe, that we’ll have faith in, that we’ll know they have all the information they need to be making the statements they do.
The key is permission. Just like Jesus came down to Peter’s level and met him where he was able to respond, we need people in our lives who have been given explicit permission to question us, our motivations, our direction, and what we’re up to in life.
This can come from mastermind through interactions, but it doesn’t matter where it comes from. It matters that we seek that out and we have that in our lives. This accountability partner can transform your leadership, your fatherhood, and your role as a husband because they can catch small course corrections before they become major problems.
Apply
Write down in the Doobly Doo the first name of that person for you. Who is your accountability partner, who knows what you’re up to, what you’re thinking, what your motivations are, and that you’ve given permission for them to question you and your motivations and your direction and what you’re up to in life?
If you don’t have one, maybe put down there “I’m looking for one.” You could start with an online friend and then start evaluating your life where it is and what you’re doing and find that in-person accountability partner.
Consider: What areas of your life as a Kingdom Family Leader do you most need someone with permission to speak truth into? Where are you most likely to have blind spots or small deviations that could become bigger problems?
Think about the people in your local community – who has the spiritual maturity, the proximity to your life, and the courage to speak truth when needed? How can you begin building that type of relationship?
You be blessed!
The Power of Permission: Why Every Kingdom Leader Needs Someone Who Can Speak Truth Into Their Life
