Top o’ the Mornin’ to Ya!
TLDR: Discover why Kingdom Family Leaders who offer persistent invitations without demands create connection that expectations destroy. Learn how patience creates breakthrough moments that pressure cannot produce.
What?
Are you welcoming or expecting? I was watching my daughter adjust to middle school and sixth grade. She was missing a few assignments here and there. I’m really good at math and science – I was previously a math and science teacher – and I kept inviting her to let me look over her work and check it with her.
I frequently remind my kids “We’re on the same team.” As I invited her to look at her work, she would just decline the invitation, decline the invitation, decline the invitation. Finally, last night she said “Yeah, maybe I’ll come up and show you my work after I’m done and we can go over it together.”
Instead of expecting her to do it, I just kept opening the invitation. I was trying not to be pushy, trying to be patient. Then we had the time together. She said “Wow, this is really good. I thought you were going to take my paper and correct it all. But instead, we’re talking through it and I’m learning it better together.”
I wanted to connect and not just say we’re on the same team, but have her feel it. She’s been a slug in the morning, but today she was beautiful, glorious with initiating the greeting and being pleasant.
The point: when you make an invitation, it’s an invitation, not an expectation. Like making amends in recovery – you don’t expect forgiveness. Making amends is for you to set yourself free, not for the other person.
Why?
Kingdom Family Leaders constantly turn invitations into expectations, which destroys the connection we’re trying to create. When you expect your daughter to accept help, you create pressure and resistance. When you invite without expectation, you create safety and eventually connection.
The breakthrough came because persistent invitations without demands created trust. She needed to know I was genuinely on her team, not just saying it while expecting compliance.
Lesson
An expectation says “You should accept my help because I know better.” An invitation says “I’m here when you’re ready, no pressure.” The first creates resistance. The second creates connection.
When you keep offering without demanding, you demonstrate your help is truly for them, not about you needing to be right. This is why saying “We’re on the same team” must be backed by invitation-based actions, not expectation-based demands.
This means persistent invitation without attachment to outcome. Keep opening the door without forcing anyone through it. The person pressured to accept help experiences it as criticism. The person invited experiences it as support.
Apply
Identify one area where you’ve been expecting rather than inviting. Write down how you can shift to invitation-based offers. Practice saying “I’m here if you want help” without pressure.
This week, when someone declines your invitation, respond with continued openness rather than frustration. Invitations require patience because people need to trust you’re on their team before accepting help.
You be blessed!
