Top o’ the Mornin’ to Ya!
TLDR: At the top of my game twice in life – team performing at high levels, everything clicking from the outside – I just didn’t feel it. And this week I realized I only prayed with my wife twice and prayed with my kids once, even though I said I’d do it nightly.
I was reflecting this morning at Bible study with the guys. We were reading Psalms 63, but it wasn’t the Psalms that pointed it out to me. It was the group just being there, being present. The conversation was going on, and I noticed two things about life.
There were two times in life where I was at the top, tippity top of my game. My team was working for me, performing at high levels. I was performing at high levels. I had people listening and following and creating and supporting and encouraging. And yet, despite all of that, I just wasn’t in a place where I felt it.
Everything was on fire. Everything was clicking. Everything was awesome from the outside, but I just didn’t feel it. I didn’t feel what I expected to feel being in that position of having everything together, having everything aligned, having everything working. There weren’t surprises. The business flowed. The production happened. The results were there for me and everybody involved – until I got into my head, and then they weren’t there.
At the same time as I was sharing those stories – I don’t think I even shared it at Bible study this morning, maybe it happened in the car on the way home – after sharing those stories, I recognized that my wife and I probably prayed twice this week going to bed at night. And it’s been my intention to do it almost every night. There’s a night where I’m out later and she goes to bed. But that’s not five nights, so there’s only two left. It’s more like there’s one or two, so there’s five or six left to do that daily prayer.
More crucial than that was my self commitment to pray with my children. We do a story time every night, and we read some fiction or fun, and we read out of the Bible. Last week when I made the plan, I prayed with each child. I take them each to bed. And that one time I prayed with each one.
At Bible study through those reflections and sharing this morning, I realized I didn’t do it again. I did it that one time. Yeah, Saturday night we stay up late and play games with friends, and the kids kinda go to bed on their own. But there’s a lot of other nights than Saturday nights since then and now where I planned to and completely forgot. So I’ve been feeling convicted of that.
Along with that conviction is just how we pray and how I’ve demonstrated prayer with the kids. In my quiet space, in my journaling and meditation each day, I’ll pray “well”. I’ve been working on praise and adoration as part of my prayers.
I admit that most of my life, it’s been thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you so much. Positive self encouragement, positive prayer, gratefulness, and thankfulness – and less of asking for stuff.
But more than that, I don’t think our kids even know how to ask for stuff in prayer because we haven’t prayed that way at our meals. Those are our thankful times, and I’ve been trying to increase the praise that I give in meals to demonstrate that because I forget. And I don’t wanna be that guy who forgets to praise the Lord and be grateful to the Lord and ask for his blessings on my life.
I want to hit all three parts and I wanna do that one on one with each of my children nightly. Like I said, I was going to do that one day that I did it. I want that one day to continue and build into that pattern of praying with my kids most days of the week. Most days of the week.
So I’m not perfect, and I’m growing, getting in touch with my emotions and getting in touch with my family, my kids, and my wife and the Lord.
You be blessed!
